Convince Your Partner To Use Cock Cage Before It’s Too Late

In recent years, the chastity cage has invaded the pages of blogs devoted to alternative sexuality and online sex shop shelves. But do we really know what it’s all about? How to introduce cock cage to your wife? Here is the guide for you.

The chastity cage, a cage for your sex: Chastity cage for men

The cage chastity, in case you have never seen, is like a small tube, curved shape, metal, and a length of ten centimeters. There is an opening to insert the penis and another for the end of the urethra channel, chastity prevents morning erection, not urination. A ring, whose diameter must be chosen, generally 45 mm, surrounds the testicles to maintain the whole. The shapes are very varied, design requires, but we note that most models hold purses with this ring but other cages are attached to a belt, still others insert into the urethra channel a small plug.

But if there is one point common to all the models, it is the principle of the key, that of the lock which closes the cage. An unlocked cage would not really be a cage, hence this closing with a key that prevents removal, prevents erection and allows the partner to check the strength of the engagement.

A cage for what games

The wearing of the chastity cage is not done by simple coquetry. On the contrary, it is an instrument whose use is part of a game of domination / submission. Wearing the cage prevents solitary pleasures and even eliminates the idea of ??erection. It is therefore the partner who has control over sexuality. No need for distance to find pleasure in the chastity, the pleasure is that of the delivery by an authorized orgasm by removing this cage. The people practicing the chastity cage and auguries see this instrument in the long term; the port can be done over several weeks, and according to very worked scenarios.

The case of all men

If the chastity cage is a game that falls within the theme of the SM, can everyone participate in it? It is often thought that these practices are reserved for an informed public. In truth, everyone can participate and the size of the machine of these gentlemen is in no way a contra-indication. Take your time to get used to this apparatus a little specific is an obligation, then, to each his scenarios. The vast majority of models allow you to adjust the size of the ring that holds the set. Big q or small b, everything goes into the penis area.

An initiation to submission – How to train a man?

Wearing a chastity cage is not trivial. Just a boxer a size too small and it’s a messy day, so yes, the cage is a rather special sextoys since it induces games of submission. It is in this sense an opening on the SM world.

A loyalty game

The softest step in wearing a cock cage, i.e. in wearing a chastity cage, is to present the object as a fidelity game. Monsieur goes on a business trip or training a few days away from home, why not offers him to wear this particular paraphernalia. As long as the training does not happen in a whirlpool, it is not a problem. And then we add to that the size of the couple, a touch of frustration with the impossibility of even having an erection and even less a solitary masturbation.

Self control – how to decrease nighttime erections to carry chastity cage?

Further in the games related to the cock ring, we can talk about self-control. If over two or three days we play the card of fidelity, for a little longer, we play the card of control of his body. In practice, the cage prevents complete erection, just a beginning of blood flow. Sex cannot develop because of the metal casing of the cage. An erection attempt therefore induces relative pain in the testicles that will have to be avoided by controlling itself day and night to precisely avoid erections.

Submission to his mistress

Submission and new technologies: The chastity cage is a sextoy appreciated by those who live a dominated / dominant relationship. Therefore, there is usually no question of wearing the cock ring for a short time. We are talking here to experienced people for whom the adventure lasts several weeks, see 2 or 3 months. In this control is sometimes added games around the orgasm ruined, which consists of ejaculating his partner without allowing him to reach orgasm.

Submission and new technologies

The world of sextoys has not escaped the global trend that everything is 2.0, including sex toys, dildos and anything that can afford to have fun. The chastity cage is not yet connected but technological to the image of the esteem model.

If you were not yet convinced on the SM side and bid cage, know that it is connected to a housing that allows its electrification at will by the dominant. From simple shaking to real punishment, the electric sensations applied directly to the glans make the session very special.

The key, the raison d’être of the chastity cage

The models of cages are various and varied, it is enough to consult the pages of a sex shop online to realize it. However, their common point is that famous key which, paradoxically, we do not always know what to do.

The key, first uses:

You have just received your chastity cage, sir wisely waiting to be able to do the fitting. This is indeed an indispensable preliminary before starting to play and develop scenarios.  Wearing such an object is not trivial and you have to get used to position it well, to wear it and to urinate without hurting yourself. The first days, it is therefore necessary to always have with you this famous key padlock, it is not yet question of constraint but adaptation. After these first few days, the key can be kept by the carrier of the cage, but already packaged so as to prohibit access except in case of problems, because any access would be noticed. Regulars will end up entrusting the key of the cage to their dominant without fear, and as much in the proper sense as in the figurative sense.

Plastic cages:

The metal of the cage and the lock have a particular aesthetic that contributes to the pleasure of wearing the cage. The shape of the cock ring, the ring that surrounds the testicles, is also part of the design of the set.

But you will admit that passing a security gantry, in a public place or at the airport, is rather delicate. Of silicone models are therefore available on the market.

Less aesthetic, they are also a little more comfortable for the wearer. There are no more padlocks or keys. The latter is replaced by a lead, a single-use wire that can seal the cock cage. A unique number makes it possible to certify the authentic character of the step, any erection breaking the thread that one could not replace by the same number. Where to get it is not also a problem as there are a lot of sex toy shops selling this type of cock cage. You can find some of the highest quality silicone chastity devices here.

Chastity cage, make your choice: reviews:

Being tempted by the approach of a chastity cage can be a very erotic game between two partners. It is a powerful step from a sexual point of view and perfect to strengthen the bonds of a couple. But before embarking on the adventure, you must start by buying the right product. Here is an overview.

The stainless steel metal cage: why choose it?

The metal cage is the most common in the collective imagination; it is also the first appeared on this market. It consists of the tube for the penis and one or more rings that keep the testicles and therefore all, which is closed by a padlock.

Considering aesthetics, the metal chastity cage is the most striking choice. Note, however, that the cage and metal padlock do not allow to pass a security check under a gantry. As part of a cage to play on fidelity during a business trip, the choice of this material is not welcome. In a daily life, it will do the job.

The BDSM Diaries: BDSM Tools for Gay Men

The physiological processes in relation to male and female orgasms, examines their influence in the process of sexual game called gay male chastity on the mood and behavior of the game participants, as well as on their mutual relationships.

The information presented can be very useful for women and men to understand each other, regardless of whether you are fans of this sexual game or not.

This is a couple who practice a constant sex game in which wife regulates when and how her husband John has ejaculation. On average, this is 3-6 times, or even 12 months (once a year).

This is achieved by wearing chastity belt on an ongoing basis and his penis was locked up in a chastity device. Once again, the couple is vanilla and these restrictions are purely sexual game, not connected with punishment / control / education / submission, for wife prefers to sleep in the same bed with the Man, and not with the submissive rag.

They began this experiment with initiative. At first, wife could not understand for a long time where he had balls in his head for the videos, but later studying the issue and agreeing to the experiment solely out of love for her husband, after 6 months she was shocked by the positive result and this became their permanent lifestyle.

Another important note – wearing a chastity belt does not provide for the absence of sex in this game. On the contrary, sex becomes many times more, the wife gets a lot more orgasms than before, but the husband does not get an orgasm.

Male chastity is pleasure, dedication, and scientific facts at their core

Recently, I studied the scientific facts about sex and especially the science of orgasm. I looked for answers to some questions that I had regarding my reaction to chastity, such as:

  • Why am I always in a good mood during periods of my chastity?
  • Why are my orgasms, when I have those, very intense and last much longer than usual, not at all like I used to feel before?
  • Why do I have such an intense feeling of devotion to my wife, a desire to help her, during periods of my chastity?
  • Why does this intense feeling of devotion leave me instantly after I have an orgasm and only returns a few days, sometimes a week or even more?
  • Why is my wife much more enthusiastic about sex now than before we started practicing the experiment with male chastity?
  • Why is my wife now in a much better mood than before?
  • Why does she show much more desire for sexual experimentation, and in general our relationship has become much warmer and more playful when we are just together and not having sex?

These questions bore my head for some time, but I did not need to think about them and study them more deeply until several things happened.

First, trying to explain to my wife that powerful feeling of devotion to her, I compared it with the post-orgasmic feeling of intimacy that we always experienced after sex lying woven on the bed, telling each other how happy we were that we found each other. That feeling did not last very long, do it? This remark made me wonder why it really does not last long.

Secondly, It was a treasure trove of wisdom, arguments, and excellent advice, which are based on the development of relationships with her husband, and her thoughts on this. In this blog, she described that increasing the period between orgasms for her husband from a month to three or four, and even up to seven months the minimum date for his next orgasm is Christmas, and the latter was in May, with serious consideration of increasing the period between orgasms years or more, and even a discussion of the constant lack of orgasms that is, never.

Be careful what you wish for, this is a super collection of her thoughts, wisdom and advice on whether male chastity is acceptable to you, if so, how to adapt this lifestyle to the maximum and how to make it work for you, as for a pair it is repeatedly stressed that the game is for two, and not a way to subordinate the husband. One thing she discussed in this book is the increase in the periods between orgasms for her husband. Her arguments are logical and even mathematically accurate.

First, she argues that according to their husband’s experience on male chastity so far, there is a clear behavioral pattern, namely, after John’s orgasm, he loses that powerful feeling of devotion to his wife for 7-10 days. Then she considered that once her month orgasm, she loses that powerful feeling of devotion to her, which is generated by male chastity for 120 days a year. She considered that it was a great loss to allow her if she was not obliged to allow her, and she was not obliged.

Men looked quite satisfied with less frequent orgasms until the present part of sexual play T & D (Tease & Denial – sex game when my wife in every possible way tries to excite her husband by any means available including vaginal sex, bring it almost to orgasm, the only limitation – the husband cannot finish without the permission of his wife – even if only Sarah received orgasms in this game.

This description of loss of devotion to his wife after orgasm and his general state of happiness during periods of chastity very closely coincided with my experience and made me wonder what is the best period between orgasms for me. During my own experiment with chastity, the longest period between orgasms was 18 days and I remember that feeling as I literally jumped out of my skin so I was excited by the prospect of sexual discharge.

Do I need to increase, and if so, by how much? Can I learn longer periods of time?

I began to look for my answers trying to understand the change in mood that occurs after an orgasm, especially after a long period of chastity.

From previous experience, I knew that mood was often due to the presence, concentration, or absence of certain neurotransmitters. So I began my search on the Internet with “sex and neurotransmitters” and “orgasm and neurotransmitters”.

I found that the relationship between sex and orgasm and our mood is not a secret, the biochemical mechanism is quite understandable. I also found that these mechanisms provide answers not only to those questions that relate to changes in mood and male chastity, but also answer many other questions about which I did not even think.

At the end of this article I will give a list of some web resources that may be interesting in understanding these mechanisms. Each of these resources, in turn, provides further links for more in-depth investigation. There are a number of neurotransmitters that shape our mood throughout life, but three of them are basic, the key ones that relate to sex and orgasm are dopamine, prolactin and oxytocin. The fourth factor is the concentration of receptors for these neurotransmitters, especially dopamine. Sexual activity and orgasm generate predictable level charts for each of these three mediators, as well as receptors.

Men and women have definitely different diagrams that have been formed over thousands of years and are aimed at the tasks of survival of the species – the successful transfer of their own genes. In particular, mixing the gene pool and taking care of the offspring so that they could live long enough to pass on their genes too.

This article is not about evolution, but suffice it to say that the feelings and behavior generated by these neurotransmitters are related to survival (the gene of continuation of the species and survival) exists in us today because they were the most successful in helping our ancestors to survive and reproduce, help the offspring survive and also produce offspring.

How To Slowly Introduce Sex Toys Like Metal Penis Cage To Your Wife

Your penis can not escape in this metal penis cage from the Sinner Gear collection. The cage is equipped with a hollow dilator, which allows you to urinate normally. In addition, the cage is delivered including a strong lock with 3 keys. Do you dare to relinquish control? Then give the key to your partner or master. He or she will get the power over your penis. How to introduce cock cage to your wife? Let’s find the secrets behind the BDSM role play.

This cock cage with dilator is made entirely of metal. This makes the cage strong, durable and safe to use with any type of lubricant. Also, the cage can be carried under the shower. Make sure that it dries well to prevent discoloration and damage to the metal.

Master Series Repressor cock Cage: Stainless Steel Penis Cage with Dilator

For your particularly rebellious copy you are looking for the right accessory to make him docile? Where would his manhood be better off than in the Repressor Cock Cage made of shimmering stainless steel? Certainly nowhere! The 10 cm long, ergonomically shaped cage has an inner diameter of 3.3 cm and is absolutely immovable. Once you’ve brought the confessed prisoner behind bars, everything should be safe from breakouts. Thanks to the small castle, you will simply close HIS lust and enjoy the sensual power as the only one to own the key. For particularly pleasurable punishments in which your opponent gets more than wet eyes you expand your chastisement with the 12 cm long and hollow dilator made of stainless steel and silicone. The one end you lead pleasurable into his urethra and secure the other with the small screw on top. Hand-tight and quite arousing, this hard-wearing kennel grabs the shank and testicles of your subs and gives you absolute control!

This chastity cage for penises “CB-6000” is the best selling chastity belt in the world. Made entirely of polycarbonate, it is produced by CB-X, the world’s leading male chastity cages supplier. Thanks to the transparent design, you or your partner can always check his prisoner. This chastity cage has an opening on the front to urinate freely.

This sublime chastity cage CB-6000 is made of transparent medical polycarbonate, a material that makes it both lightweight and durable. This reference cage encloses the penis and allows neither erection nor intercourse. To facilitate its use, the end of the cage has a large opening, allowing its wearer to urinate freely.

This chastity cage has five rings of different diameters to suit all types of penises. A padlock made of brass, as well as five numbered locks are also included. The CB-6000 chastity cage comes with a solid storage bag so you can take it anywhere.

This CB-X CB-6000 cage has large openings on the sides for good ventilation and easy maintenance. This chastity belt may be cleaned with a little warm water and soap or a cleanser suitable for sex toys.

A chastity belt is a humiliating tool from the field of BDSM, which masturbates to the wearer, the so-called slave . The chastity belts differed in their condition, the material, the wearing comfort and the robustness. Last but not least, the different chastity models also differ in price. It is therefore worthwhile to compare the different chastity cages. In principle, there are chastity belts for men and for women. The majority of chastity offers, however, is designed for men and locks the penis in a cage.

Assemble Cock Cage Belt

Many chastity belts for men have to be assembled first. The models of plastic and metal differ only in their material used. To assemble the chastity belt, we sourced 4 easy steps from lockthecock.ca:

Put cock ring holder: This is a combination of a U-clamp, which is placed directly around the penis shaft. Above this, the cage is positioned. There are other models, especially stainless steel, where the cock ring is not made up of two parts, but only one. Here it is important that the cock ring fits well. There should be at least a thumb width between the solid cock ring and the penis shaft. Otherwise the risk of a blood blockage is too high.

Position the spacer: Here, the safety pin is pushed through the cage holder and the clamp lock. The cage holder and the locking pin later hold the penis cage, whereby only a lock must be attached to the locking pin.

Growing penis cage: To make masturbation impossible, the chastity belt now has to be fitted with the penis cage. This works only if the penis is not stiff. It’s easiest if you put the penis cage in a cold environment. Then the penis contracts slightly. During an erection you cannot put on the cage. You should not try this by force; otherwise you could easily hurt yourself. Tip: Fill the penis cage with lubricant. Then it is easier to put the penis cage over the penis.

Close the chastity belt: So that you cannot get at the penis even later, it should be closed. For this purpose, a padlock or a disposable lock, which is positioned at the end of the locking pin is suitable. Once the lock is firmly attached, the front penile cage will not slip off the structure. Now, the chastity of the keeper can begin. Masturbating with attached chastity belt is very difficult.

Plastic Chastity Belt


The classic variants of the chastity belt are made of plastic. They are easy to carry and can also be optimally cleaned. In addition, the chastity belt sets usually contain cock rings in different sizes, which is an additional plus. Because of the low weight, plastic chastity belts can be worn for several weeks. If a plastic padlock is used for the chastity belt, you will even pass unnoticed at the airport through the security checkpoint.

Popular plastic chastity belts are the CB 6000 and CB Curved. Both are assembled as described above from individual parts: First, a penile ring is constructed and it follows the creation of the penis cage and lock. Even for beginners plastic penis cages are well suited, For cheap models, you should pay attention to whether there are small sharp edges in the penis cage before donning. Especially with cheap copies from China, it can happen that the places are sharp-edged, where the skin of the penis pushes through the chastity cage slightly outward. There you should help in advance and flatten the edges either with some sandpaper.

Stainless Steel Cock Cage

The cock cage made of stainless steel are usually much higher quality , as the models made of plastic, but not cheap . In comparison to the chastity belt made of plastic that stainless steel are significantly heavier and have more weight. Therefore, you can feel this cock cage while wearing, as he pulls the penis down by his weight alone. The big advantage of the stainless steel chastity belt lies in the hygiene .Because there are no pores like plastic, where bacteria could accumulate. And plastic softeners are not processed here, so you do not have to worry about metallic cock cages.

Why everyone needs to learn what chastity really means

It is frustrating for Catholics who love their faith to realise what a bad public relations job the Church often makes of it. We insiders know that “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free” isn’t just a clever slogan; it actually delivers. Whatever our human crosses, our faith is about the joy and peace that comes from knowing who we are and the supernatural purpose of our lives. Yet outsiders often see the Church negatively, as grim and doctrinaire, prejudiced against human happiness.

Dawn Eden, an American convert with a special apostolate to those who have been victims of sexual abuse within the Church, is doing her best to remedy this situation, particularly in the area of human sexuality (an area where the Church’s teaching is most often distorted). The title of her book, The Thrill of the Chaste, first published in 2007 and reissued this year for a Catholic readership, is both a clever play on the word “chaste” for “chase” and an eloquent plea for greater understanding of what it means to “find fulfilment while keeping your clothes on”. (UK readers can buy the book here.)

In her book Eden is very honest about her past life as a young single woman in the world of rock journalism and how the longing for a fulfilling relationship that would lead to marriage drove her from one doomed affair to the next. The transience of these relationships only made her feel more insecure, more desperate to meet the right man, more prepared for rejection and thus more likely to invite it. She came to see in the Sacrament of Confession that she had lost her innocence long before she lost her virginity.

Pondering the pattern of her adult encounters she realised that it was only “when I began to be honest with myself, recognise how I had allowed childhood wounds to shape my adult identity, did I find healing, strength and a way towards forgiveness”. It was stumbling on Chesterton’s The Man Who Was Thursday that pulled her up short and began this process, especially his paradoxical remark: “The most poetical thing in the world is not being sick.” Instantly Dawn understood how it related to the emotional chaos of her personal life.

Dawn’s spiritual journey into the Church helped her to gradually grasp that the virtue of chastity is the “true liberty”, enabling one to do things, aided by grace, “that we would be unable to accomplish with our own power”. Recognising her vulnerability in a society where casual sexual encounters are seen as normal and everything else is weird and prudish, she saw that temptations to impurity could only be fought with divine assistance.

I asked Dawn why she has now published a “Catholic” edition of her book. She explains: “When I wrote the original edition as a Jewish convert to Evangelical Protestantism who was preparing to make the final leap into the Catholic Church, I thought I had a Catholic mind. But once I entered the Church in 2006 and began to live within the rhythms of Mass and Confession, I realised how limited my understanding of chastity had been. I had the right idea about it as a Protestant but without a sacramental world view I couldn’t adequately explain why chastity is indeed thrilling.” This edition, she feels, has “given me the opportunity to show how Jesus, present for us in the Eucharist, shows us how to be present to one another in love”.

In her book, Dawn describes herself as a “consecrated celibate”. What does this mean? She tells me: “I use this term for myself because ‘celibate’ literally means unmarried, so to simply call myself celibate could make it sound as if I sleep alone only by default. ‘Consecrated celibacy’ makes it sound more like the positive choice it is. Since 2013, I have made an annual promise on my birthday to consecrate my celibacy to Jesus’s Sacred Heart through Mary’s Immaculate Heart.” She adds that she hopes to be officially consecrated one day by a diocesan bishop.

I am curious by the distinction Dawn makes in her book between “single” people and “singular” people, such as herself. Could the Church do more to help “singular” people? She is keen to emphasise that “the Church could do more to help all of us understand what the virtue of chastity is and how to live it. Chastity is not just for the unmarried; we are all called to it according to our state of life. Married chastity includes fidelity and reverence for your spouse as a fellow child of God. Single chastity is not just abstinence because chastity is a virtue and virtues are always positive. In my book I explain that chastity is the virtue that enables us to love more fully in every relationship, according to the type of relationship; so for me, it means learning to love fully as a daughter, as a sister and as a friend.” She adds: “Really it means learning the appropriate way to bring Jesus’s love into all my daily interactions.”

Dawn wants to share her insight in her book that to reduce human sexual activity to genital activity “impoverishes the truth of what it means to have been created as a man or woman. We become the man or woman we were created to be when we love.” She believes that living chastely has made her “more of a woman, because learning to better love my neighbour in Christ has made me more fully human”. She describes her apostolate as “living the mystery of spiritual motherhood in the heart of the Church. I am doing that through completing a doctorate in sacred theology, as well as writing and speaking on healing and conversion.”

And who is her book directed towards? Dawn says unhesitatingly that “it is for adults like me who want to learn how to live the Church’s teachings on sexuality with joy”. My final question concerns our society: how can we best convey to it the attraction of the Church’s teaching? Dawn responds: “Change begins with our own lives. If we rediscover the beauty of the human vocation to love, we will see its effects in the wider culture. We also need to support others who are making sacrifices to follow God’s call in their own lives, not just priests and religious but also single people, including those with same-sex attraction who are striving to live chastely, such as the members of Courage Apostolate.”

The next time our acquaintances challenge our faith in this most sensitive area, we should give them this persuasive book to read.

Tips for Choosing a Sex Doll – Height and Weight

Are you looking forward to getting into the world of sex dolls? That’s awesome as sex dolls are amazing sensual companions yet sans the baggage of a real human woman. The adult toy market is flooded with a wide range of sex dolls and you will find them in various heights and weights just like those famous huge gay dildos. But not all would be equally compatible for you. However, nothing to worry as the post below offers a brief on how to choose a sex doll for your pleasure.

Super-mini dolls

These are the smallest ones that range from 2ft 1.6”- 2 ft 7.5” in height and weight around 5 kgs. As these are ultra-mini in size, these dolls are extremely lightweight and also a breeze to hide. Like small handy vibrators for travel, these are handy and good for travelling too. However, you can only enjoy vaginal sex with these dolls as their other body parts are not properly contoured. The ultra-mini dolls are great when you want a sex toy for masturbation. Besides, these are very economical which makes them great as entry-level sex dolls. Buy this instead of a butt plug for call girls, it will save you a heck of money.

Mini dolls

Mini dolls are small sex dolls only but slightly bigger in height and weight than the one mentioned above. In regards to height, they will come at around 3 ft 3” and weigh something like 12 kg. Moreover, the mini dolls carry more defined body features than ultra-mini options. You can say they look like any real woman- just smaller in height. Thus, you can relish oral and anal sex with them, added to vaginal sex. Thanks to their small size, the mini dolls are a breeze to hide. Because of its size, it’s like a vibrator sex toy capable in space especially for astronauts.

Medium dolls

Medium dolls are heavier compared to the previous one but come with a greater height and more defined body for better pleasure. In regards to height, these dolls mostly range from 4ft 1” – 4ft 7”. When it comes to weight, the medium dolls weigh something like 20 kg – 23 kg. So, yes, these are slightly on the heavier side. But these dolls allow users more flexibility regarding choice of body features which you won’t get with smaller dolls. For example, with a medium-sized doll, you can choose whether you want an insertable or inbuilt vagina. Just be careful about the weight while handling the sex doll.

Now, as medium dolls are heavy, these are difficult to hide. A lot of people lay down the doll under the bed while the toy is not used. You can do that too but make sure to lay her on a soft surface. If she is left on a hard surface for a prolonged period, her body shape may change. Besides, you should also be careful to place a clean white sheet under her body. It will reduce the risk of stains on the doll’s beautiful body.

Full-size big dolls

If you are looking for the most authentic experience, the big full-sized dolls are the thing for you. They weigh around 30kgs and range from 5 ft 2”- 5 ft 4” in height. The best part about them is they come with a full pronounced body for the optimum satisfaction of the user. Put simply, when you are craving for the actual feel of a real-life full-grown adult woman in a doll- these dolls are the best pick for you. Though this may not be a real spanking girlfriend with tailed plugs, still, it’s the real deal! And because these dolls are big, you can try trendy ben wa balls on them.

But full-size big dolls are extremely heavy. In fact, you may injure yourself while lifting them if you are not used to carrying weights. Thus, you should only opt for a big sex doll if you are absolutely sure about your physical strength.

Experts usually advise sticking to medium sized dolls as they are easier to handle than big sized dolls and also embody the authentic body features of a real woman.

C. S. Lewis on How to Persevere in Chastity

First, he says we must really want to grow in this virtue. He notes how a famous Christian—when looking back at his life—realized that his prayer for chastity was really saying something like: “Oh Lord, make me chaste. But please don’t do it just yet.” Of course, his reference here is to the great St. Augustine. Indeed, every saint has a past and every sinner a future. It’s good to know about saints who struggled, since that can give us confidence that we, too, can overcome.

Second, Lewis notes that many never set out on this great battle for chastity because they assume from the outset that it’s impossible to attain. This assumption deters us from really giving our all in this fight. We go in half-heartedly, accepting defeat before we even begin. But as Lewis points out—with a great many things—we often surprise ourselves with what we can do when our backs are against the wall: “People quite often do what seemed impossible before they did it. It is wonderful what you can do when you have to.” We recognize the merits of not giving up in so many other areas (e.g., sports or school), but for some reason we assume that the moral and spiritual life should not call forth this same kind of effort. What would happen if we went after safe chastity devices and holiness with the same intensity and vigor as we hit the weight room or the track?

Thirdly, Lewis counsels that we must ask for God’s help. Here Lewis is exceptionally insightful and strikes a chord in the spiritual tradition: we often wish that God would heal our vices and instantly empower us with heroic virtue; but perhaps if he did, we would fall into the even greater sin of pride. “Very often,” Lewis writes, “what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again.” This process teaches us to depend upon God in a radical way—and this is the great secret to sanctity; indeed, this is the meaning of the first beatitude “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” The poor in spirit are humble and recognize their need for grace; in this way, they become soft clay, allowing God to work more fully in their lives.

For this reason, Lewis writes: “We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven.”

The etymology of the Hebrew word Satan is instructive here: “Satan” means “to accuse.” In temptation, the Devil is our buddy, coaxing us to play along. But when we fall, he becomes the accuser, seeking to douse us in shame and keep us from the throne of God’s mercy. The Devil’s greatest temptation is for us to doubt God’s love for us; indeed, his greatest attack is to get us to believe we are too far gone—that we are beyond the pale of his forgiveness. But God is Love; and perhaps the paradox of the Christian life is that he calls us to greatness—and yet he above all else knows that our path to greatness comes only by first turning to him in our weakness. Indeed, a father loves his kids just the way they are—but too much to leave them that way. The same is true of God: He loves us as we are—but so much so that he wants to see us not only forgiven but healed and transformed. And he is ready and willing in our time of need—not to condemn—but to help. All we need to do is ask.

Chastity Belts: The Middle Ages-Esqe Sex Toy You Never Knew You Needed

Most people’s idea of a chastity belt probably comes from the Middle Ages, when artists would commonly show women wearing metal underwear fastened with a lock to which only their husbands or fathers held the key. Back then, it was a totally messed up way to control women’s sexuality, though it turns out that Middle Ages’ chastity belts didn’t really exist. Instead, according to The Smithsonian, these devices only existed in art as a way of humorously depicting men’s fear of being cuckolded or of their daughters’ virtue being stolen.

The real chastity belts that you see in museums were created later, “as curiosities for the prurient, or as jokes for the tasteless,” according to The Smithsonian. If you’re disappointed by this news — don’t be. Chastity belts are very real today and are frequently used in BDSM play as a way to control your partner’s orgasm, according to kink website Kinkly. The basic idea is still the same: A chastity belt is made of metal or plastic and covers someone’s genitals. There are versions made to cover vulvas as well as versions to lock up penises. No matter what your or your partner’s anatomy is, every belt comes with a lock so that the person wearing the belt can’t have their genitals touched — even by themselves — unless the person who has the key opens it. Typically, a belt made for penises locks in a flaccid position so that whoever is wearing it can’t get an erection.The locked-up nature makes chastity belts perfect for orgasm denial, a kink that’s often used in BDSM spaces and involves making someone highly sexually aroused for a long period of time without the possibility of release. Maybe surprisingly, it’s people with penises who enjoy having their genitals locked up the most, according to kinky sex blogger Cara Sutra. Most chastity belts sold now are cock cages and penis erection prevention devices, she writes.
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But what’s the benefit of locking someone’s genitals in a cage and holding the key? As a BDSM dominatrix, Sutra finds chastity play extremely erotic. “Many men feel like the very core of their masculinity comes from their genitalia, having a penis and balls and being able to use them to perform in a sexual manner,” she wrote. “Having this ability restricted or taken away makes them question their masculinity. This is a really potent blend of taboo, fear, and worry and that’s when the playful element of this part of BDSM really kicks in.”

Although women and non-binary folk likely won’t have the same kinds of attachment to their genitals as cisgender men, wearing chastity belts can still be an erotic way to play for them. Because even if the dominate partner isn’t looking to humiliate their submissive by having them question gender roles, locking up someone’s genitals gives the dom the key to their pleasure — literally. And that means that the submissive has to ask the dominate partner for any sort of release. Giving permission is often a part of BDSM play, but chastity belts make asking for permission absolutely necessary.

Depending on how long the submissive partner wears the belt, it can also make sure that their every sexual thought is focused on the person who holds the key. “Although discomfort is minor, the emotional impact is extreme,” wrote another dominatrix, Ava Zhang. “He may have a change of heart and convince himself that his consensual lock-down was a mistake, crawling back to his Mistress and BEG (I love it when they beg) to be freed.”